The local paper has a link to an animal shelter website which has hundreds of pictures of all the animals available for adoption in this area. An endless sea of puppies, kitties and other assorted fare, which are all desperate for a place to live. It's heartbreaking to stare at the photos. The person responsible for posting the pictures must look for the saddest pictures they can find and then posts just those for everyone to look at. It's great marketing. Unless the dog is obviously insane, then they just try to find a picture that makes the dog look "playful." The puppies are sure to be adopted. Everyone loves puppies - when they're puppies. What the photos don't show is their full grown size. The "after" puppy pictures. Mastiffs are adorable at two weeks or two months, but not so much at two years. Then they're a small horse.
The only animals that you can't save are the cats. No one wants a cat. If someone wants a cat, there are free ones everywhere. In fact, almost every cat owner I know didn't want the cat they have, the cat found them and just never moved out. No one has ever said, "we went down to the shelter looking for a cat and came home with that one." No one. Why? Because all cats are all evil and no one really wants to own one. The people who do own cats are just too scared of the cat to try and get rid of it. They know the cat will hurt them if they try anything. And no matter how cute a cat photo looks, they all look horribly and incurably insane. I'm sure the photographer took enough pictures to fill a 2 gig memory card for each cat trying to find just one photo that would make the cat look reasonable and adorable. It doesn't matter what you do, all cats look like vessels of doom. Cats aren't a pet, cats are herpes.
And for every one dog photo on the site there are six cat photos, which means no one wants the cats any more than I do. Cats without a home are just doomed. You know it when you look at their picture. "No one is going to take that cat and it's going to die there," you think to yourself. And there doesn't seem to be any chance that the number of homeless cats is going to ever go down in the future. Something must be done to curb the growing cat population.
On the other side of the world, there are a lot of hungry, hungry people dying from starvation. Right after you see a commercial with Sarah McClaughlin's "Arms on an angel" playing over a slide show of abused homeless pets, you will see a commercial for starving children in Africa or India or Fresno. They images are rough; babies with flies on their eyes; kids living in garbage piles; children with missing limbs from either land mines or zombies. These kids don't get the cool hip Sarah McClaughlin singing for them. Instead these kids get some burnt out actor from the 70's who has made it their life's mission to raise money for these fly-covered, legless starving kids.
My point is that we can kill two birds with one stone here. Starving kids - homeless cats. Cats reproduce just as quickly as rabbits and those kittens are darn cute for the first three months. The kids will love them for a while. Then when they are just the right size for lunch, harvest time. So the starving kids now have a job and a meal. They raise the cats on extensive cat ranches and then harvest the meat to keep themselves alive. No more Sarah McClaughlin and no more burnt out 70's star. I'm a genius!!! I will take the Nobel Peace Prize in ten's and twenties, thank you.
Cats can be baked, fried, boiled, grilled, sauteed, George Foreman grilled, and stuffed. I bet there is a great cornbread stuffing with sage and garlic that would be amazing with cat. Then you roast the cat with some lemon rosemary wine reduction sauce and voila! Dinner is served. Maybe a little couscous on the side. Perhaps some carrots. Cat hot wings would be very popular too. That's a lot of meat there. And unlike chicken, you get four servings per cat.
I realize that many people love cats as pets. I can understand that. A lot of people also think Lady Gaga is talented, that Ronald Reagan was a good president, and that honesty is the best policy. It happens. People make mistakes. It's in the DNA for some people to be really, really stupid and misguided. Cats are not pets... they're food. Just like cows, and pigs, and chickens, and fish. And it's possible to keep them as both a pet and a meal. I know people who have fish tanks in their house and people who have pot bellied pigs in their house. So it's not uncommon for a food source to make a decent pet. But that shouldn't stop us from eating the ugly mean ones that no one wants. And remember this, a lot of cultures treasure cows, which we eat. A lot of cultures eat dogs, which we adore. And a lot of people still like country music, which is dumb.
I didn't create that website filled with mean surly cats, nor did I create the world filled with starving kids, I'm just trying to end the pain and suffering for both.
And if you were thinking to yourself, "oh that's horrible!!!" Just get over yourself. Even the ancient Egyptians (who were probably aliens) were scared of cats. Even they knew there was something wrong with them and look how smart they were!
Cats... bad news. Anytime you let an animal shit in your house on purpose that's a sign that there is something wrong in your life.
The only animals that you can't save are the cats. No one wants a cat. If someone wants a cat, there are free ones everywhere. In fact, almost every cat owner I know didn't want the cat they have, the cat found them and just never moved out. No one has ever said, "we went down to the shelter looking for a cat and came home with that one." No one. Why? Because all cats are all evil and no one really wants to own one. The people who do own cats are just too scared of the cat to try and get rid of it. They know the cat will hurt them if they try anything. And no matter how cute a cat photo looks, they all look horribly and incurably insane. I'm sure the photographer took enough pictures to fill a 2 gig memory card for each cat trying to find just one photo that would make the cat look reasonable and adorable. It doesn't matter what you do, all cats look like vessels of doom. Cats aren't a pet, cats are herpes.
And for every one dog photo on the site there are six cat photos, which means no one wants the cats any more than I do. Cats without a home are just doomed. You know it when you look at their picture. "No one is going to take that cat and it's going to die there," you think to yourself. And there doesn't seem to be any chance that the number of homeless cats is going to ever go down in the future. Something must be done to curb the growing cat population.
On the other side of the world, there are a lot of hungry, hungry people dying from starvation. Right after you see a commercial with Sarah McClaughlin's "Arms on an angel" playing over a slide show of abused homeless pets, you will see a commercial for starving children in Africa or India or Fresno. They images are rough; babies with flies on their eyes; kids living in garbage piles; children with missing limbs from either land mines or zombies. These kids don't get the cool hip Sarah McClaughlin singing for them. Instead these kids get some burnt out actor from the 70's who has made it their life's mission to raise money for these fly-covered, legless starving kids.
My point is that we can kill two birds with one stone here. Starving kids - homeless cats. Cats reproduce just as quickly as rabbits and those kittens are darn cute for the first three months. The kids will love them for a while. Then when they are just the right size for lunch, harvest time. So the starving kids now have a job and a meal. They raise the cats on extensive cat ranches and then harvest the meat to keep themselves alive. No more Sarah McClaughlin and no more burnt out 70's star. I'm a genius!!! I will take the Nobel Peace Prize in ten's and twenties, thank you.
Cats can be baked, fried, boiled, grilled, sauteed, George Foreman grilled, and stuffed. I bet there is a great cornbread stuffing with sage and garlic that would be amazing with cat. Then you roast the cat with some lemon rosemary wine reduction sauce and voila! Dinner is served. Maybe a little couscous on the side. Perhaps some carrots. Cat hot wings would be very popular too. That's a lot of meat there. And unlike chicken, you get four servings per cat.
I realize that many people love cats as pets. I can understand that. A lot of people also think Lady Gaga is talented, that Ronald Reagan was a good president, and that honesty is the best policy. It happens. People make mistakes. It's in the DNA for some people to be really, really stupid and misguided. Cats are not pets... they're food. Just like cows, and pigs, and chickens, and fish. And it's possible to keep them as both a pet and a meal. I know people who have fish tanks in their house and people who have pot bellied pigs in their house. So it's not uncommon for a food source to make a decent pet. But that shouldn't stop us from eating the ugly mean ones that no one wants. And remember this, a lot of cultures treasure cows, which we eat. A lot of cultures eat dogs, which we adore. And a lot of people still like country music, which is dumb.
I didn't create that website filled with mean surly cats, nor did I create the world filled with starving kids, I'm just trying to end the pain and suffering for both.
And if you were thinking to yourself, "oh that's horrible!!!" Just get over yourself. Even the ancient Egyptians (who were probably aliens) were scared of cats. Even they knew there was something wrong with them and look how smart they were!
Cats... bad news. Anytime you let an animal shit in your house on purpose that's a sign that there is something wrong in your life.
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