I had a conversation today about why certain men only want to have sex once a year, or not at all, with their wives. And why boyfriends cheat, lie, etc. The conversation just wandered into mysterious waters and having nothing to lose by posting this now (as I am pretty much retired), I thought it was time to just let it all out. This isn't just for one person so why not share it with everyone.
For starters. There are three types of "Player." This a non-gendered role because either sex can be a player. And I use the word "player" because there has never been a more apt description of what the person is doing. It's important to understand this point when discussing the intention of the players playing the game.
The first type of player is called the "Smoothie." These people are just in it for the seduction and not much else. They figured out a little charm will get you in the door but they have no idea what do once they're inside. When they're a man we call them smoothie, but when it's a woman we call her temptress or flirt. These people love attention and they love the challenge of getting people interested in them; even if they themselves have no interest in the person they are flirting with. This is the source of the most of the friction with their behavior. No one likes to be led on and then abandoned. This sort of player doesn't care what damage may be caused by their actions and have the the solid excuse of, "I was just playing." or "It was just harmless banter." When possible, this person likes to brag about the number of friends they have or the number of people who "like" them.
These players are the most common of the three types. The sexual output from them is low and if they do engage with someone, it will be empty and cold. They are not really interested in what happens after the seduction is over, though many will follow through with a sexual experience if they think it will help solidify things, though they rarely enjoy it. They derive their pleasure almost solely from getting someone to like them.
These people are easy to spot in public as they generally dress in garish clothes. Women will wear excessive make up, and usually adopt the uniform and character of a temptress they've seen in a movie (think Marilyn Monroe). Men will adopt the same sort of cliched personalities, but unlike their female counterparts, their characters are usually more childish in demeanor. The easiest way to spot these flakes is in their speech. They love to use double entendres.
Sadly, this is also the most commonly married type of player. These are the men who seduce a beautiful woman, get her to say yes, and then have no idea what to do with her after that. As a wife, you will do everything you can to get him to be interested in you, but he just isn't interested or will seem annoyed by your constant nagging for attention or sex. Though he will seem to have no problem flirting with your friends, waitresses, or his co-workers. On the women side, they tend to marry only for the money or for status. Their goal is based purely on sustaining themselves.
Famous Smoothies: Paris Hilton. John Mayer. Alan Alda. Bette Midler.
The second type of Player is called the "Collector." This person just wants the sex. They don't care what it takes to get someone into bed and they will use any tactic it takes to fulfill their needs. Lie, cheat, steal, invest money, time and pain - it doesn't matter. They love to collect sexual partners. And these partners don't have to be sexual attractive to them, they just have to be willing to have sex with them. That's it. That's the only quality they seek in a partner. On rare occasions they will diversify and only sleep with one type of person or another (virgins, blondes, fat girls, black guys, Eskimos).
Unlike the cheese-ball smoothies who love corny dialogue and cute gestures; Collectors are more advanced and stealth in their approach to achieving their goals. They dress better. Their timing is impeccable. And their choice of words is always spot on. If you have ever met anyone who seemed to know the perfect thing to say in every situation, or the perfect answer to every question, that person... was a Collector.
NOTE: For those people who are not players, but who are gifted with gab, this is the point in their life where they will momentarily cross paths with their player counterpart. Sadly, they can be treated poorly because someone they're interested in might sense they are a player when they are not. I feel bad for these people... Sigh.
When men are Collectors we tend to admire them, as long as their "collection" is enviable. When women do it, we tend to scorn them. It's hard for people to admire a woman who gets laid a lot. That's because a woman can get laid much easier than a man and it's no great talent for them to get a partner to sleep with them. A woman could easily put a sign on her door that says, "FREE PUSSY TODAY INQUIRE WITHIN" and there would be a line around the block in no time. There's nothing to admire there. But a man who can seduce a lot of women has talent. Although many women have said otherwise to me on several occasions; it's not easy to get a woman to sleep with you, let alone several women (let the arguments commence!!!). I am not condoning the scurrilous judgements bestowed upon these women, I am just explaining the mindset from whence the vitriol comes.
Collectors are not braggers. They tend to keep their true convictions private and rarely hint at their true nature. This is part of the darkness which surrounds their personality which we call, "sex appeal." It's their sly smile. Their calculated look out of the corner of the eye. On very rare occasions will a Collector expose their true nature. When it happens, it's to get someone into bed. Or to keep themselves out of prison.
The pain these people cause is obvious. Especially if someone falls for them or gets involved with them. They are not designed for any one person. And they are not happy unless they are feeding their need to collect.
These people tend not to marry but when it happens they are active lovers, but they will stray. They are not looking for someone else to love, they are just feeding their collection needs. Though the distinction is often hard to accept.
Famous Collectors: Benecio Del Toro, Anne Heche. Tiger Woods. Taylor Swift.
The last type of Player is called the "Hustler." Hustlers view themselves as a prize. There is a lot of distinction between cocky and confident. And the caliber of Hustler depends on which "C" word they are. Cocky Hustlers are usually dull, rich, horrible lovers who want you to know that they are dull, rich, horrible lovers who you are going to fuck anyway. Confident Hustlers just ooze sex appeal and no matter what they do, you're going to sleep with them. They're smoother than a Collector, but they don't have the need to collect. They tend to be picky about who they seduce tending to only drink from the top shelf quality partners. The Hustler is in it to gain something; money, notoriety, power, or for the amusement of it all. A Hustler is likely to seduce a married woman just to get her to cheat on her husband. Unlike the Collector, they enjoy the limelight and want people to know what they are doing. They revel in scandal and use it to further their position. And here's the worst part...
The Hustler is not looked down upon. Unlike their counterparts, we admire them. I think we do it because we secretly wish we were them. Most of us fall short of being able to do it, or being able to live with it, and we are a culture of people who admire those who do what we cannot. Much the same way we admire daredevils, exceptional athletes, serial killers, brilliant musicians, or anyone who has chosen to live a simple life well beyond our own comprehension. Hustlers are people we both loathe and love at the same time. And they know it.
Famous Hustlers: Madonna. Warren Beatty (It's no coincidence that these two dated). Jack Nicholson. Bette White.
And for the record, I'm a step above the Hustler in a category I call, "Scoundrel." You're welcome.
For starters. There are three types of "Player." This a non-gendered role because either sex can be a player. And I use the word "player" because there has never been a more apt description of what the person is doing. It's important to understand this point when discussing the intention of the players playing the game.
The first type of player is called the "Smoothie." These people are just in it for the seduction and not much else. They figured out a little charm will get you in the door but they have no idea what do once they're inside. When they're a man we call them smoothie, but when it's a woman we call her temptress or flirt. These people love attention and they love the challenge of getting people interested in them; even if they themselves have no interest in the person they are flirting with. This is the source of the most of the friction with their behavior. No one likes to be led on and then abandoned. This sort of player doesn't care what damage may be caused by their actions and have the the solid excuse of, "I was just playing." or "It was just harmless banter." When possible, this person likes to brag about the number of friends they have or the number of people who "like" them.
These players are the most common of the three types. The sexual output from them is low and if they do engage with someone, it will be empty and cold. They are not really interested in what happens after the seduction is over, though many will follow through with a sexual experience if they think it will help solidify things, though they rarely enjoy it. They derive their pleasure almost solely from getting someone to like them.
These people are easy to spot in public as they generally dress in garish clothes. Women will wear excessive make up, and usually adopt the uniform and character of a temptress they've seen in a movie (think Marilyn Monroe). Men will adopt the same sort of cliched personalities, but unlike their female counterparts, their characters are usually more childish in demeanor. The easiest way to spot these flakes is in their speech. They love to use double entendres.
Sadly, this is also the most commonly married type of player. These are the men who seduce a beautiful woman, get her to say yes, and then have no idea what to do with her after that. As a wife, you will do everything you can to get him to be interested in you, but he just isn't interested or will seem annoyed by your constant nagging for attention or sex. Though he will seem to have no problem flirting with your friends, waitresses, or his co-workers. On the women side, they tend to marry only for the money or for status. Their goal is based purely on sustaining themselves.
Famous Smoothies: Paris Hilton. John Mayer. Alan Alda. Bette Midler.
The second type of Player is called the "Collector." This person just wants the sex. They don't care what it takes to get someone into bed and they will use any tactic it takes to fulfill their needs. Lie, cheat, steal, invest money, time and pain - it doesn't matter. They love to collect sexual partners. And these partners don't have to be sexual attractive to them, they just have to be willing to have sex with them. That's it. That's the only quality they seek in a partner. On rare occasions they will diversify and only sleep with one type of person or another (virgins, blondes, fat girls, black guys, Eskimos).
Unlike the cheese-ball smoothies who love corny dialogue and cute gestures; Collectors are more advanced and stealth in their approach to achieving their goals. They dress better. Their timing is impeccable. And their choice of words is always spot on. If you have ever met anyone who seemed to know the perfect thing to say in every situation, or the perfect answer to every question, that person... was a Collector.
NOTE: For those people who are not players, but who are gifted with gab, this is the point in their life where they will momentarily cross paths with their player counterpart. Sadly, they can be treated poorly because someone they're interested in might sense they are a player when they are not. I feel bad for these people... Sigh.
When men are Collectors we tend to admire them, as long as their "collection" is enviable. When women do it, we tend to scorn them. It's hard for people to admire a woman who gets laid a lot. That's because a woman can get laid much easier than a man and it's no great talent for them to get a partner to sleep with them. A woman could easily put a sign on her door that says, "FREE PUSSY TODAY INQUIRE WITHIN" and there would be a line around the block in no time. There's nothing to admire there. But a man who can seduce a lot of women has talent. Although many women have said otherwise to me on several occasions; it's not easy to get a woman to sleep with you, let alone several women (let the arguments commence!!!). I am not condoning the scurrilous judgements bestowed upon these women, I am just explaining the mindset from whence the vitriol comes.
Collectors are not braggers. They tend to keep their true convictions private and rarely hint at their true nature. This is part of the darkness which surrounds their personality which we call, "sex appeal." It's their sly smile. Their calculated look out of the corner of the eye. On very rare occasions will a Collector expose their true nature. When it happens, it's to get someone into bed. Or to keep themselves out of prison.
The pain these people cause is obvious. Especially if someone falls for them or gets involved with them. They are not designed for any one person. And they are not happy unless they are feeding their need to collect.
These people tend not to marry but when it happens they are active lovers, but they will stray. They are not looking for someone else to love, they are just feeding their collection needs. Though the distinction is often hard to accept.
Famous Collectors: Benecio Del Toro, Anne Heche. Tiger Woods. Taylor Swift.
The last type of Player is called the "Hustler." Hustlers view themselves as a prize. There is a lot of distinction between cocky and confident. And the caliber of Hustler depends on which "C" word they are. Cocky Hustlers are usually dull, rich, horrible lovers who want you to know that they are dull, rich, horrible lovers who you are going to fuck anyway. Confident Hustlers just ooze sex appeal and no matter what they do, you're going to sleep with them. They're smoother than a Collector, but they don't have the need to collect. They tend to be picky about who they seduce tending to only drink from the top shelf quality partners. The Hustler is in it to gain something; money, notoriety, power, or for the amusement of it all. A Hustler is likely to seduce a married woman just to get her to cheat on her husband. Unlike the Collector, they enjoy the limelight and want people to know what they are doing. They revel in scandal and use it to further their position. And here's the worst part...
The Hustler is not looked down upon. Unlike their counterparts, we admire them. I think we do it because we secretly wish we were them. Most of us fall short of being able to do it, or being able to live with it, and we are a culture of people who admire those who do what we cannot. Much the same way we admire daredevils, exceptional athletes, serial killers, brilliant musicians, or anyone who has chosen to live a simple life well beyond our own comprehension. Hustlers are people we both loathe and love at the same time. And they know it.
Famous Hustlers: Madonna. Warren Beatty (It's no coincidence that these two dated). Jack Nicholson. Bette White.
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