Awards

The Baseball Hall of Fame has announced that no one will be inducted into the Hall of Fame this year. The players are voted in by a poll of sports writers who are in sole possession of the judgment, "worthy of hall of fame status." On the ballot this year were Sammy Sosa, Raphel Palmerio, Barry Bonds, Mark McGuire, Mike Piazza, Roger Clemens and a bunch of other people you probably haven't heard of. Now, in baseball terms, these guys were pretty good. Won all sorts of awards, have all kinds of records, etc. None of them got in. AND... ain't none of them ever gonna get in. Ever, ever. Why? Because the sports writers are little bitches.

That's not the only reason, but it's like 75% of it.

The thinking by the sports writers is that all of the people who could get in this year were all using Performance Enhancing Drugs (PED) during their careers and that is a reason not to vote them in. Ladies and Gentleman if you're a professional athlete in any sport you are using PEDs. All of them. Every single last one, every sport. It's the nature of sports and sports medicine. Just get over it and enjoy the touchdowns and home runs. Okay? So if this athlete is doing better than that athlete who is also on the PEDs then you are still Hall of Fame worthy. Yes, even as far back as the birth of modern sports, athletes have been using speed, pain killers and other "remedies" to make their game play better. Like the evolution of the uniform, the equipment and the racial make up of the athletes, things progressed an evolved. It evolved because the people that demanded it to.

There is no sanctity to sport, there is no purity. These athletes are not children. And there should never be a reason to wave fingers at people and scold them when they do what we ask them to do. Athletes ARE nothing more than ENTERTAINERS. They are amusement. Distraction. And the best distractions and entertainment come coated in SPECTACLE. That's why they get paid outrageous fortunes to play. That's why we let them skate through college without being able to read. That's why we let them do bad things and get away with it. We LOVE our distractions! And we do not want mundane mediocrity in our entertainment. If you have ever watched non-professional sports you know how boring it is. You sit there and watch and you pray.. "Lord, please give them PED's to make this game interesting."

Example time.

The year Mark McGuire and Sammy Sosa were slamming home runs in an effort to break Roger Maris' home run record of 61 (FYI... Maris is also not in the Hall of Fame. His family had to create a makeshift one in his hometown of Fargo, ND. It's in the mall) every single moment of the news was dedicated to the "HOME RUN RACE" because we all wanted to see the record broken. And here we had TWO men who broke it. It was glorious. It was spectacle. It was baseball on display. Were they on drugs? HELL YES! We knew it then, we know it now, and we still don't give a shit!!! Baseball isn't a saint's game. Those aren't virgins out there on the field. Baseball is theater in the round!

NOW...

This past year, or even the year before, or the year before that, blah, blah, blah... no one!!!... outside of sports writers who don't have lives, could tell you who hit the most home runs for that season. No one. And even if they did, you wouldn't care. Big fucking deal. No home run race, no news, no spectacle. Not entertaining. No PED's. It's like a titty bar with flat-chested women... Sure, they're naked and dancing... but that's not the point.

Sports is just live theater with a new ending which plays out with every game. I'm a HUGE fan of Kansas Basketball, Royals' Baseball and Boxing. I'm invested emotionally in those sports and as a fan of the Royals my heart is heavy often. It's okay. I still love it. It's my television viewing. And in my mind, I determine who is great and who isn't worthy in my Hall of Fame. That said, I think it's time to take the vote away from sports writers and give it to the fans. Because we ultimately decide who is FAMOUS and who isn't. Sports writers come and go, they're expendable garbage whose job it is to retell me a story I just watched. Let them vote on who gets in to the sports writer's hall of fame.

Sports belong to the people and it is the people who should decide who is and isn't worthy of canonization.

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Today is also the day when they announce the Oscar nominations. I have long since abandoned the Oscars because they have ceased to be interesting. Films get snubbed. Bad films or bad actors win. Often you think people vote for people out of pity or novelty. I guess if they left it to merit, Meryl Streep would win every year. But, hey, Mira Sorvino has one. That's impressive right? She has to be on someone's top ten list of the best actresses in history. When was the last time you saw her in a movie... in a theater? Julia Roberts has one too. I think that's when I turned the corner on my belief in the Oscars as valid.

Of the motion pictures nominated for BEST PICTURE this year, I have seen all but three - Django, Beasts of the Southern Wild and Armour. And I have no interest in seeing them so don't try and force me. Traditionally speaking, the film with the best sunset in it always wins best picture. So Life of Pi should be the front runner but it won't win. Also, almost every year, the film that wins also wins the best director category so that narrows it down to just five options. Thankfully Django isn't one of those five. I can't believe people still watch Tarantino's garbage.

I can't say I have a favorite picture of the year though at the moment I am going with Silver Lining Playbook as the choice nearest to my heart. It was nominated all over the place and Jennifer Lawrence has an incredible ass so that really seals the deal for me. I realize that isn't a quality thing to say, but you have to go with what you got.

The only thing worth watching during the Oscars - and this year is going to be a doozey - is the "In Memoriam" portion of the show. It's not because I think we should cry and say how much we are going to miss so-and-so; it's so we can watch and see who got snubbed. Who cares which films did or didn't win an award? I want to see the greatest snub of all. "You aren't worth mentioning even in death." Nothing speaks to the character of Hollywood better than watching them snub the DEATH of a fellow artisan soley because of "time issues." How shallow and empty are those souls?

I know I can't convince you turn off the show, it's impossible. I'm telling you, spectacle is everything!!!!  AND everyone I know who reads this blog is addicted to TV to such a degree that a shift to excessive heroin use would be an improvement in your mental states. But, if you can, don't watch.

Perhaps you could visit the Baseball Hall of Fame website instead...