The forgotten dance steps in your routine

I know very few people who are self-motivated. Very few. However, I know a lot of people who like to be motivated by others. These people can barely convince themselves to get out of bed most days, but they love it when someone is there to wake them up. I always imagine these people's lives as push carts with a big handle waiting to be set in motion. It's all up hill. These people keep looking for someone to push them around and to look over them as they move forward through life to make sure they haven't strayed off course. But without someone pushing their cart they just sit there, motionless.

I always thought that they just never had anyone to show them how to push their own cart.

I know they have dreams, everyone loves to talk about their dreams, so I hear all the details about these distant futures; The books they're going to write. The countries they are going to visit. The dresses they are going to sew. The new attitude about life they are going to adopt. The new diet. The bad habits they are going to kick. All of these things seem wonderful when they talk about them. Until you ask them, "So, are you going to do it?" Then the story suddenly shifts from elaborate and colorful dreams to tales of sociopathic and vindictive antagonists, immovable objects, fears, doubts, and complex Rube Goldbergs which must occur precisely for things to work out. Well, those dreams all seem to die, right there in front of you, as you listen to these woeful tales.

I am all motivation, which may seem like a great thing but it's not, really. I have enough motivation that I can share it with others. Countless souls have crossed my path and have benefited from my willingness to push their carts. I will push even when they don't want me to. Sadly, this can negatively impact relationships. People like their fears and doubts just as much as they like their dreams. And often, when dreams are realized, then new ones have to be created and that's not always an easy thing to do. Fear and doubt can be forever. It doesn't take much to find one if you need one.

I knew a girl who couldn't find any motivation in herself. Even when a world was fabricated around her to fulfill her dreams, she couldn't move forward without someone pushing her cart. Her home was filled with every sort of opportunity but she was never fulfilled.

But I think I understand now.

It is never the dream that is important to some people. I should never listen to what people's dreams are. Especially the people who can't seem to realize a dream on their own. I have so many unmotivated friends and they are all full of shit. It's not their dreams which keep them alive and breathing. It's the other part of the conversation that is important. THAT'S what I should have paid more attention to - everything after my question of "So, are you going to do it?" is who they are.

If you have unmotivated friends, pay less attention to their fantasy goals - they're an illusion meant to distract you - and pay more attention to the things in their way. Try to help them remove the antagonists, the immovable objects, the fears, and the doubts from their lives. That's what they are really asking from you. By telling you about their impossible hopes and dreams, they are really asking you to slay the dragon, which is standing in their way. The dreams they tell you about are just some ridiculous horse shit they make up to overlook their real goal in life - to overcome their anxieties. They spend more time thinking about what is stopping them than what they want to achieve in life.

I should be a better friend and instead of pushing people toward their goals, I should be clearing the path so they can get there on their own. They know their dreams are never going to come true, they just want the fear to go away. Perhaps they would be able to start something. It's not hard to finish.

I'm becoming less social because I lack the ability to relate to dreams under siege.

Go do something.